When a couple plans their wedding, tradition hovers over their conversations like a cloud. From the clothes the wedding party will wear to the music played when the bride and groom cut the cake, there is a wedding tradition for almost everything. Some traditions, like wearing something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue, are harmless fun but others can cast long shadows. Why not buck tradition and have each party choose their own ring?
A wedding tradition that many couples are choosing to ignore is the unwritten rule that says the party who proposes should choose the engagement ring. This adds a dash of excitement because it keeps the proposal secret, but there are some major downsides. You will be wearing your engagement ring on the third finger of your left hand every day for the rest of your life, and it should put a smile on your face every time you look at it. If you didn’t pick your engagement ring out, looking at it might not fill you with joy. Let’s look at some reasons why you may be happier if you pick your own engagement ring.
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Benefits of Choosing Your Own Engagement Ring
If you choose your own engagement ring, the glittering piece of jewelry that looks back at you from your left hand will reflect your personal style. You will also get to decide how much money will be spent to acquire it. When you choose your own ring, you take a great weight off your partner’s shoulders. People who plan to propose want everything to go perfectly, meaning they feel a great deal of pressure when they look through a tray of gold engagement rings. If your eyes don’t light up when your partner opens the ring box, the moment could be ruined.
Control Over an Important Decision
Choosing an engagement ring is an important decision and buying one is a major financial commitment. You will want to be involved in all consequential decisions when you are married, so why not start as you mean to continue? You are an equal partner in the relationship, so you should have an equal say when decisions have to be made.
Few Proposals Come as a Complete Surprise
Few proposals come completely out of the blue, so why should the engagement ring you will be wearing be shrouded in mystery? When you have one of those talks about the future with your partner, mention that if you were to marry, you’d like to choose your own engagement ring. They will probably breathe a sigh of relief if you do.
Your Ring Won’t Be Boring
If you let your partner choose your engagement ring, they will probably play it safe. Most engagement rings for women have simple settings and round solitaire stones. Still, the classic look is not for everyone. If you want an affordable engagement ring that stands out from the crowd, you may have to choose it yourself.
Your Ring Will Match Your Style
If your partner takes a more avant-garde approach when shopping for your engagement ring, the results could be horrifying. Our jewelry sends a very personal message about us, so it must be chosen with care. If your partner likes to make bold and unconventional decisions, letting them choose your engagement ring could be a mistake. You could end up with an unusual engagement ring that isn’t your cup of tea, leading to some uncomfortable conversations. To remedy this, you can each choose your own ring.
Your Ring Won’t Be Too Cheap or Too Expensive
Conventional wisdom states that an engagement ring should cost the equivalent of three months’ salary. However, that tradition is based on a marketing campaign in the 1930s, so the advice is a bit outdated. If you pick out your own engagement ring, you will get to decide how much money changes hands. You won’t be stuck with a cheap engagement ring that makes you cringe with embarrassment every time you lift your left hand, and you won’t feel guilty because your partner spent more than they can afford. You can also choose a high-quality ring with conflict-free stones.
Your Ring Will Fit
It’s not uncommon to have to return the ring to have it resized. Making a ring smaller is much easier than making a ring bigger, so jewelers err on the side of caution when it comes to size. This is just one more errand to run when you will be extremely busy, so why not just get an engagement ring that fits to avoid the chore? When choosing a wedding ring set, you can save time by having both parties measure their fingers so that you can select the correct sizes.
You Will Feel Empowered
Getting married is a special moment, but it is often not a very empowering experience for brides. The tradition of a father walking his daughter down the aisle harks back to a time when marriages were business arrangements, and it can make the bride feel like property. Men usually make all the toasts and speeches during a wedding reception, while brides are expected to sit demurely by. When the bride is called upon to play a role, she either feeds her new husband a piece of cake or throws her wedding bouquet to a group of single ladies. Refusing to go along with all this could cause friction, and changing things up could disappoint your guests. If you wear an engagement ring that you picked out, just glancing at it could make you feel more empowered.
You Do You
Planning a wedding is thrilling and exciting, and you should enjoy every moment. Many things you do on your wedding day will be shaped by tradition, but some traditions should be left in the past. If you want to feel a burst of happiness when you glance down at your engagement ring, it’s best to choose it yourself.
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