Tips

What is the Main Reason Men Cheat?

When people ask why men cheat, they often find the answer quite interesting. Some say it’s not even right to ask the question in the beginning. Why? They believe men are, by nature, a wandering element. They assume that every man is naturally predisposed to wanting more than they already have. 

To some, it is one of the most terrible things that anyone could think of. Like, why commit to another person knowing that you still want to explore? Why make them go through pain and torture when you could just let them be?

However, one truth remains. Many men cheat. The question is why do men cheat? 

This article is going to expose the major reason why this happens, the myths surrounding this reality, and the importance of understanding the reason men cheat. Above all, we will examine the need to curb cheating and help foster a healthier and better love life

Do All Men Cheat?

When asked this question, many would be conflicted on how they should answer. Is it really true that all men cheat? Well, the answer is no. And we know why. 

There are lots of men in the world who are loyal to their partners no matter the situation, right? But there’s another major indicator. A lot of cultures allow men to have multiple partners, thereby increasing their chances of cheating. So, maybe men are naturally born to cheat?

Also, a study done by the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) indicates that from the sample size, men are more likely to cheat than women. From this same study, it was reported that 20% of those in the study group admitted to having had sexual relations with people other than their partners. 

But Why?

Like every other question bordered around human lives, understanding why men cheat is crucial to a lasting relationship. By grasping this concept, you realize the kind of person you are as a man or the type of person your partner is. 

The knowledge of why men cheat is also a way to curb this excessive behavior in a man before he begins to exhibit such traits. Or, in some cases, it is a valid reason not to get emotionally involved with individuals who may be predisposed to this kind of person.

And by knowing why men cheat, you can guard your emotional state of being in a sane way without fear of being caught off guard.

Main Reason Why Men Cheat

Many times, we often hear different reasons why men cheat. For some, it stems from a desire to explore sexual fantasies. Many men are controlled by their sexual urges and would do anything to fulfill their fantasies. Many go as far as committing crimes to satisfy this craving.

Other people would tell you they cheat because they believe it is in a man’s nature to do so. They’d cite examples of how many men have done this in the past, hoping to find a justifiable excuse for their behavior. Oftentimes, you find these men trying to find loopholes around faithfulness, claiming that procreation is the major reason they’d be involved with people of the opposite sex. 

Another reason that has been overflogged is the need to validate emotional intelligence in the wrong way. Some men believe that getting down with multiple partners gives them a sense of emotional satisfaction. They believe that their actions show that their ego is intact and that they have a level of control over how they express their feelings. Unfortunately for them, this only exposes their emotional illiteracy. It also shows their lack of empathy or any ability to actually commit to a relationship.

So, if all these reasons are not valid, why do men really cheat then?

To begin with, we first must understand the true nature of man. Greek philosopher, Hippocrates, defined the nature of man as one that embodies four major humors. To him, the human anatomy is divided into seasons that are synonymous with what we have in natural occurrences. The four humors are:

Blood (hot and wet),

Phlegm (cold and wet),

Yellow Bile (hot and dry), and

Black Bile (wet and dry).

These four humors, he believed, were responsible for the emotional and biological well-being of any man. While these humors were theories of their own, they were similar to the elements of air, water, fire, and earth. In the same way, men are generally perceived to be good, bad, or somewhere in between. Human nature is factored into four elements; pessimistic, optimistic, trusting, and envious. This nature is exactly why men cheat.

Every human is responsible for how they act or behave, outside of the factors that control their lives. A man who wants to cheat first thinks about cheating. He often wonders if this option is better or if it should never have been considered in the first place. After wondering, he makes options available. He goes through a process of choosing who he wants to cheat with. Then, he shoves his conscience aside, knowing that it would stop him from carrying out his mission.

By ignoring his conscience, he decides to hurt the partner he commits with. To him, the partner could go through as much pain as possible as long as he gets his wishes. His bid to satisfy his curiosity or the need to explore takes center stage, making him a man who can no longer be reasoned with.

If his conscience is still alive, he becomes a creature ruled by fear and uncertainty. He wants to be with one person but doesn’t want his partner to find out about the arrangement. So, he begins to act suspiciously. He forgets important things or pretends to forget them. He is never at peace, his paranoia takes hold of him and he no longer has clear control of his feelings.

In both of these cases, one thing is sure. A man cheats because he has decided to. A man cheats not because it is in his nature but because he has thought it in his mind. A man cheats because he wants to. So, the answer to the question is in the mind. Men cheat because they put their minds to it. 

Now, back to our elements. A pessimistic man is one that is full of doubts. He does not trust his partner to be faithful. Even when they are, he wonders why they are faithful to him, seeing that there are lots of options to choose from. 

An optimistic man knows he can get away with anything once he is committed to such. So, if he decides to cheat, he knows it’s because it’s something he can easily get away with. He doesn’t care about the impact of his actions on his partner. All he knows is that he can get away with the act.

A trusting man, you may think, can’t cheat. Surely, they trust their partner. Well, trust can be a heavy burden too when it is excessive. They begin to listen to the words of outsiders who caution them against the kind of trust they have for their partner. And when doubt creeps in, it becomes a small hole that leaves the walls they have built open to attacks. They begin to see their partner in a new light. They wonder if it is even worth it at all.

The envious man has no control of his emotions. He wants what he can’t have. And despite knowing he can’t get it, he still goes for it. He tries every way to explore because he cannot stand his partner’s peace of mind. He wants to justify his reason for cheating by saying it is what the partner would also do. 

In cases where he finds the partner doing better than he expects, he begins to suspect. He is convinced in his mind that the partner is getting emotional, physical, or romantic support from another angle. In his own way, he can not stand it when his partner is with another man.

All of these point to the man as an enabler of situations where they can cheat. There is no smoke without a fire. It is only when a man has thought about it and concluded in his mind that he goes ahead to cheat. However you see it, a man is the major reason why he cheats. He is the decider of his actions and should be responsible for the outcome. 

Final Words

No one deserves to be hurt for deciding to love a man. You can always choose the kind of man you want for yourself but you also need to be aware of their nature when it comes to cheating. If they did it, it’s because they thought about it, thought about you, and decided you didn’t matter.

So, the question you need to ask yourself is if that man is cheating for a reason or because he chose to.

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Why Do Men Cheat?Despite all you may have heard, a man only cheats because he wants to. If he values you and what you share, he would not even think of sabotaging that for anything.
  • Do Men Have Rights to Cheat?No one is right to hurt their partner. If you feel your man is cheating on you, bear your mind out. Let them know the kind of pain they have caused you.
  • Can I Help My Man To Stop Cheating?This is a very delicate situation. If a man wants you, he won’t cheat in the first place. He would never even think of it. But if you want to help them stop cheating, then you need to appeal to their sense of reasoning. This NYTs article on How to catch a cheater? delves further into the topic.