Tying the Knot Without Loose Ends: 10 Things to Discuss Before Marriage

Did you know that women are waiting much longer to get married nowadays?

Most women were married by 20 during the 60s, but the average age to get married today is 27. Not only does this delay allow women to get to know their partners better, but it also gives them the chance to learn more about themselves.

The best way to avoid heartbreak is to make sure you and your partner understand each other. Although some conversations can be uncomfortable, they’re definitely worth having.

Keep reading to learn the most important things to discuss before marriage.

1. Things to Consider Before Getting Married: How Involved Will Both Families Be?

Even though it may seem obvious, plenty of people don’t realize that getting married also means joining the other person’s family.

Both partners have to appreciate the family dynamic and find a way to mesh both sides together. This is why you need to talk about boundaries and traditions that will follow you the rest of your lives together.

Where will you spend your holidays? Do your parents expect your children to carry on a family name? Will you need to live near them to visit often?

These are a few questions you need to ask your partner to avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings in the future.

2. Do You Both Want Kids? If So, How Will You Raise Them?

Some people want a dozen kids, while others can’t stand to be near them. Marriage is a partnership, which means both of you have to be on the same page for big life decisions like children.

If your partner doesn’t want kids, you need to be okay with this fact. You can’t go into your marriage hoping one day they’ll change their mind. Although things can change, you need to accept the facts of the present moment and be at peace with their wishes.

If you both want kids, you need to discuss how you would work together to raise them. If both of your parenting styles are compatible, then you’re ready to get married.

3. One of the Most Important Things to Discuss Before Marriage: How Do You Problem-Solve as a Team?

When you live with someone, arguments are bound to happen. Whether your disagreements are big or small, you need to learn how to problem-solve in a healthy way.

Does your partner yell or refuse to talk until they’re less angry? Do they know how to express their thoughts and feelings in a productive way?

If you’re still learning how to communicate with each other, going to counseling together could be a safe space to grow. Finding marriage and family solutions can be challenging, which is why both parties need to be invested in keeping the relationship happy and healthy.

4. Financial Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

Your partner may mean the whole world to you, but if you have different views on finances, you’ll fight often. This topic could take many days to cover, but it can shed a lot of light on your future.

Will you get a joint bank account? Does your partner blow through each paycheck or pinch pennies? Are you ready to start a retirement fund, a college fund for future kids, or an emergency fund?

While you can have a successful marriage with different spending habits, both people need to know what to expect before the wedding.

5. Understand Their Future Plans Before You Get Married

Life is full of opportunities. Whether your partner wants to see the world or settle down immediately, you have to be on the same path as them.

If you’re introverted and your partner is extroverted, this could cause strains on your relationship. Do you want to rent apartments all around the world while they want to buy a home and live in the same town for many years?

Opposites may attract, but your differences should complement each other.

6. Be Sure You Can Talk About Heavy Things

You may not want to think about negative things, but disaster can strike at any moment. If you talk about heavy subjects ahead of time, at least you can feel prepared.

How would you support each other if one of you suffers from a debilitating accident? Can you handle unemployment or other difficult events?

7. What to Know Before Getting Married: Can You Both Compromise?

Now is the time to consider if you’ve been wearing rose-colored glasses. You have to take an honest look at your relationship and assess if both of you contribute to the relationship equally.

Some days you can give 80/20 and others may be 1/99. However, in the grand scheme of the relationship, both of you should give 50/50.

8. What Do Both of You Need Every Day to Be Happy?

Having alone time can help two people grow closer together. When you get married, you should always hold onto your individuality and continue doing the things that make you happy.

Ask your partner what a perfect day looks like to them. If both of you can take measures to fulfill each other’s needs, then you know you’re in a loving relationship.

9. Are Your Career Aspirations Compatible?

Some men and women are happy to be stay-at-home spouses/parents. Others are workaholics who will do anything to get to the top. Most people are somewhere in the middle.

If your partner’s job requires lots of traveling or moving to new locations, you need to be ready to support them. If you make more money than your partner, they need to feel comfortable with this dynamic.

Take some time to talk about your ambitions and what you hope the future holds for your career. If your partner will stand behind your dreams, then you’ll be able to work as a team.

10. Crucial Things to Talk About Before Marriage: Do You Share the Same Morals?

Morality has a lot of grey areas that are open for debate. While you have some wiggle room, the healthiest marriages are a union of two like-minded people.

Does your partner think it’s acceptable to lie to protect your feelings? How do both of you define cheating? Do you share the same beliefs that dictate how you live your life?

If both of you agree on big-picture issues, you won’t get hurt or blindsided.

Ready to Plan Your Dream Wedding?

Now that you know all of the important things to discuss before marriage, you and your partner can get ready to take on the world together.

If you want more helpful tips, Blushed Rose is the ultimate guide for brides. Check out our blog to learn how you can plan the wedding of your dreams.