Getting pre-wedding jitters or cold feet just before your wedding is not unnatural. Bridal nerves, or what you call in local terms ‘cold feet’, can result from various stress issues and serious problems. Your wedding day is supposed to be an extremely grand affair, making it a special day for you. It is not quite aberrant an issue if you get stressed or tensed about something on that day.
When you think you are getting pre-wedding jitters, sit back and relax. Try exploring the issues that are causing you stress and anxiety. Do not get influenced by whatever is happening around you, which you think is accelerating your stress. Try looking for answers to your problems rather than freaking out and losing your nerves. If you figure out the problems efficiently, it will either lead to you to two major things:
- A very strong and beautiful wedding
- An utterly grave mistake
Now you are the one to choose here what you actually want, depending on the questions hovering in your head. One way or the other now is the time to deal with your inner agitations to make things right. Always remember one thing when you are getting pre-wedding jitters- Either it is now, or it’s never!
Cold feet vs. serious issues
You should learn to discriminate between the two feelings that you experience before the wedding, serious problems, and cold feet. Do not mix these two things up, or otherwise, you will end up making stupid mistakes in your decisions. It is natural for you to get this sense of nerviness prior to your wedding. After all, it is a big step in your life where you cannot afford taking any foolish actions.
The best way to understand whether you’re getting cold feet or there are serious problems, just listen to your instinct. If you are extremely excited inside but nervous on the outside, it is probably just normal bridal nerves. However, if that is not the case, then you need to seriously figure things out before jumping into anything.
Problems that might make you call it off
- If you think your future husband is aggressive and vicious towards you.
- When you come to know that your spouse has drug addiction habits like excessive alcohol consumption or smoking. It is even worse if you see that he is unwilling to get into recovery.
- If you or your future spouse is unfaithful to one another or have deceived each other with another person.
- When most of your family members and your friend circle are not quite fond of your spouse.
- If you get a strong inner feeling that this wedding is only going to give you temporary happiness. In other words, if you will feel there is no lifelong guarantee with your spouse, call off the wedding.
- When you and your spouse hold different opinions on having children in the future.
There is one more thing you should learn to differentiate on the stress, which you get before your wedding. Try to demarcate the stress that you get for wedding planning, and the one you get about the actual wedding. There is no point in worrying about minute details in your wedding plan. It should not stop you from getting married to the man you love. Such unwanted worries are kind of a sign that you need to simmer down the entire event a little.
Strategies to overcome cold feet
Know what’s bothering you
You need to dedicate more time in sorting out what exactly is bothering you and look for solutions accordingly. Jot down the things that are scaring you at the moment. After a point of time you may realize that once the factors are on paper, they sound extremely stupid. However if you still feel those matters bothering you are quite serious, write solutions for each of them separately.
For instance, you may get fear about losing your identity after marriage. You can combat such an issue by not altering your name after your husband’s name. Take resort to new hobbies to not have the feeling of losing out on yourself. You may even dedicate one day in the entire week for yourself, probably for a ‘girl’s night’ or something.
Figure out if it is cold feet or sweat
Learn to understand cold feet and stress issues regarding serious problems with your wedding separately. Focus on your relationship more than getting scared with the idea of getting married, and changing your life altogether.
Give time to yourself
When you get cold feet, dedicate some time to yourself and write down about all the good things about your relationship. Focus on the factors on why you have chosen to get married to the person you love. Figure out all positive prospects like your first date, your first movie together, or the day you fell in love. Think about how you got engaged to your spouse and how beautiful everything has been so far. In this way, you will automatically ward off little things that are currently tensing you.
Talk to people
Talk to your friends and close ones about what you are feeling. You never know, your best friend can come to your rescue during such tough times!
If you feel like you are getting bothered a lot with your wedding plans and preparations, take a break. There are other people in the house to take care of all the arrangements. Do not plant yourself completely into all these preparatory events and get stressed on your special day. Always remembers, it is your day. You should not waste it by getting scared or agitated on the way it is arranged for you. Live up to the moments that you experience every minute.
Focus more on the positive thoughts of how your life is going to change into something more beautiful. Restrict yourself to just suggesting ideas on how you want your wedding to look like. Leave the rest to the people who are arranging it for you. This way, you will keep yourself from all the unnecessary and unimportant things from bothering you.