You have to write your own wedding vows and you’re stuck on the first word? Unsure how to put down all the emotions you feel? It can be overwhelming but when you get it right, you can tell your significant other your deepest feelings and commitment in front of your friends and families. Here’s a guide for how to get started writing your own wedding vows if you feel stuck.
1. Start with the basics
You can’t have wedding vows without saying “I love you.” Don’t focus too hard on flowery language and promises and leave out the most important thing – love. You should also take that opportunity to mention how you’ll be there for them through good times and bad. The majority of wedding vows, traditional and personal, focus on how you’ll support each other through all the ups and downs of your lives and marriage.
You can focus on what you love about your partner, and ensure that they hear just why you’re marrying them. You can be as serious as you like, or humorous if that’s more suited to you and your personalities. Remember, you’re not just telling them why you love them, you’re telling everyone there too.
2. Add personal stories.
Everyone there, from your friends and family to your partner, would love to hear some personal stories and funny moments that happened. Don’t be afraid to bring up some low moments just like the highs. Everyone wants to hear vows that are genuine and real, so express how you feel about the bumpy patches you’ve been through.
Sharing these stories shows what you’ve been through already as a couple, and that you’re ready to face the next chapter of your lives with them by your side. Having that reminder of the good times and bad is a great way to start your married life together.
3. Make promises.
Don’t forget that vows are more than sweet anecdotes and expressions of love. Sally O’Toole, a wedding writer at UKWritings and State Of Writing, explains that “at their core, they are promises and commitments that you are making to your significant other in front of a lot of witnesses. Your promises don’t have to be heavy or deep, though, you can feel free to add some humorous promises too.”
Use this opportunity to show your partner that you’ll be there for them, no matter what. Be as deep or as superficial as you want, as the point is you’re making these promises in front of your loved ones. You can promise to be there for them no matter what the future brings, or to squash the bugs that make their way into your home.
.Tips about the writing process
When it’s time to actually write down the words, keep these tips in mind. Here’s how you’ll write the very best vows for you big day.
Don’t wait till the last minute. Write them at least a few weeks before the wedding date because as it draws closer you’ll get more and more nervous. Start by writing down your thoughts in no particular order. Don’t worry about putting them into full sentences but make sure you take note of everything you want to bring up: what you love most about them, what you’re looking forward to as a married couple, and what promises you want to make.
As you get closer to the day, you can start putting those thoughts in order, and making them into the polished vows you’ll read on the day. When you start early, you’ll have more time to get it right.
Write a few drafts: Remember, you’re not going to get the vows right first time. Another reason that you’ll want to start early is because you’ll want to write a few drafts. Write the first draft, and don’t worry too much about whether it’s ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Just get it down on paper. You can start cleaning it up in your next draft.
If you feel confident, you can ask a close friend to take a look at them. They can tell you whether the words flow well, and whether they could be redrafted to work better.
Don’t worry about covering everything. Don’t try to put everything in – it’s impossible. Stick to what matters most and what resonate the most with you. Take a bit of time and space then come back to them and see how you feel about the words you wrote down. Don’t worry about being cheesy as long as what you’re saying comes from the heart. If you struggle finding the right words or putting them into complete sentences, consider using a service like Boomessays or OX Essays.
Remember the most important thing, which is to express your love for your partner and your commitment to them. If you get this across, then you’ve succeeded.
Avoid all or nothing language. When writing vows, it’s so easy to start including words like ‘always’ and ‘never’. It makes sense at the time, as of course you’re making a promise to your significant other. You want them to know that you’re making that promise for the long haul.
However, using words like these means you’re making promises that are impossible to live up to. You can’t promise to be perfect, no matter how much you want to. Instead, focus on the things you want to do with your partner, and promise that you’ll do your best no matter what.
Look for inspiration. Find inspiration in books that you like, movies, or songs. Use those favorite quotes as a starting point. There’s bound to be something that you both have a love for, and in these books or films you’ll find quotes that could be perfect for your vows. Keep your sentences straight and to the point so you’re not too complex and tripping over yourself during the vows.
Don’t worry about being ‘cheesy’. It’s really easy to feel that your vows are too sentimental and that your guests are going to roll their eyes. This is the time to embrace being ‘cheesy’, though. You’re declaring your love in front of all your loved ones, so really lean into it if that’s your thing.
Remember, guests will be expecting some amount of heartfelt vows, so feel free to be as sentimental as you like. It’s your day, after all.
Make them laugh. Don’t be afraid to make jokes in your vows if it makes sense to do so. There’s nothing better than being able to make your other half laugh at the altar, or even get some laughs out of the crowd.
.Practice beforehand. You also want to get some practice in private reading your vows out loud. Make sure it sounds perfect because if you read it out loud, you’ll notice spots where you missed a word or the sentence doesn’t make sense. Be sure to indicate on your vows where you want to pause and what you want to put emphasis on. The last thing you want to do is rush through so no one understand. Take it slow and focus on your intonation.
Finally, when you have your final version, make a fresh copy of them for the ceremony. Your scribbles and annotation will be hard to follow, especially if you’re tearing up, so you want a good, clearly legible copy.